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Unknown
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 75
Bisexual Female, 75
0 miles · Kent
Forum
We have a bit of free time over the next few weeks, and would like to make some new friends.
If you are a reasonably young (sub 40 ish), reasonably attractive, fun couple, who'd like to have a nice night in with us in Swindon, please feel free to drop us a line, or leave a thread on here (so we look more popular lol ).
We look forward to getting to know lots of new fun adventurous people!
K&D
xxx
)
K&D
xxxHi everybody,
Just joined yesterday and feeling like the new kid in school. Ha ha
New to internet swinging ( some experience in club playing ) so a helping hand would be very welcome from time to time..
I'm a very genuine, good time guy who would love to get to know you all.
Is there anybody out there.......
Chris
Two farmers were rounding up their sheep together. A particular feisty ewe managed to get it's head stuck in a fence so the one farmer says... this is too good an opportunity to miss... then dropped his trousers and gave the ewe a good seeing to... when he had finished he said to the other farmer.. you fancy a go? too right said the other farmer who quickly dropped his trousers and stuck his head thro' the fence 
Thanks ffs for introducing us to such fun people. You put at us at ease made us feel welcomed and we had a great time! We meet some realy lovely guys and lasses and spent fun time chatting to everyone thx to them all too!
Please can we come next year?
LoL
Rich and Rai
ps loved the view from the window can I squeeze it next time please? luv Rai xx
wooooooooooooohooooooooo im inTrue........
As one of the people on here who've listened and laughed with you, take a little bit of advice
I might be an old witch sometimes but it hasn't stopped me doing what I do best....... swinging.
You have to perhaps realise that your standards may appear to be a little too lofty for the masses on here and you should take any swinging site for what it is... a swinging site!
We all have our preferences, but swinging is about having sexually liberating [b]FUN[/b]
I think you are one of the most intelligent people on here (after me of course BUT, you come across as arrogant sometimes and it does rather put people off.
Regardless of age, size, looks or intelligence, there are people on here for everyone. Lighten up and you WILL have a good time.
Don't leave..... the forums at the very least would be a more miserable place without you!
See you on the other side! (the dark side that is)
Maddie
BUT, you come across as arrogant sometimes and it does rather put people off.
Regardless of age, size, looks or intelligence, there are people on here for everyone. Lighten up and you WILL have a good time.
Don't leave..... the forums at the very least would be a more miserable place without you!
See you on the other side! (the dark side that is)
Maddie [quote user=blondecouple]A gang bang is a situation in which either a woman or a man, has sexual intercourse with multiple partners in turn or at the same time, So I reckon 3 or more would cover it.... Jen think you need to be more specific, and tell people what it is you want... saves time that way!
Jo & Daz xxx[/quote]
the managment has spoken and yes jen im camping outside lol
A man walks into a pub and asks the barman for a pint of anything other than Stella! Whats wrong with Stella asks the Barman? Well, last night I bought 12 pints and, when I got home, I was fu**ing skint says the man! Well, after 12 pints of any beer you would have spent plenty says the Barman! No says the man, skints my Jack Russell............
_________________
A doris was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2
litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a
head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g
pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The doris was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at
her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selection that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly."
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up... The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.'I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. 'So what do you think about that Doc?' The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. 'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?' asked the doctor. The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.' The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'
_________________
A man is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, " I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
Yep! I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird ."
"Oh yeah?" the man asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my cock around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics and philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The man looks at the price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me 'cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20 just make the guy an offer!"
The man offers £20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The man is delighted.
One day the man comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the man .
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."
"WHAT???" the guy says. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."
Then the frantic man screams, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got an erection and fell off my perch!"
