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qanda
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 79
Straight Female, 74
0 miles · Surrey
Forum
Sex God
Magic Dildo
A guy goes out to work and leaves his wife alone in the house.
After an hour or so she gets bored and heads off down to the shop.
She says to the shop keeper "Do you have anything to excite me?"
He replies "YES! Glad you asked.
New invention just out called magic dildo.
You say its name twice then tell it to do something and it does!"
"WOW!" Replies the woman, "Ill take one!"
She takes it home opens the box and says
"Magic Dildo, Magic Dildo jump out of the box.
"So it did. "Magic Dildo, Magic Dildo jump into my pussy" so it did.
After 5 minutes of her getting herself off she hears a car on the drive!
She says magic dildo back into the box and pushes it behind a table.
She hears the door unlock and her husband walks in.
HEY HUNNY!" She says.
"What is that fish smell ?
You've been having sex haven't you!" he says.
"No, ill be honest with you. Its a new invention called magic dildo.
It does whatever you want!" She tells him.
He replies "MAGIC DILDO? MAGIC DILDO MY ASS !!
Sex God
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
eye: Sex God
Hey Beowulf you not like my silly jokes
running out of sites :devil:
There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma. She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door. Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened. "I'm not sure, but I think she choked
Post edited 30-01-2007 10:26
There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma. She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door. Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened. "I'm not sure, but I think she choked
Post edited 30-01-2007 10:26 Sex God
elevator. The doctor gave him 3 viagra-like tablets & asked him to use it one at a time.
while he got in to the elevator, he saw a nice looking girl inside & immediately wanted to test the tablet. He had one & couldn't control himself. he stopped the elevator & fucked the girl & finished her off. the girl left the elevator in the 3rd floor, crying. to his luck, an amazing lady in her mid-30's got into the elevator. Again, he took the 2nd tablet & finished her too. she left the elevator in the 2nd floor, crying.
He really was a lucky bastard - again, an old woman in her 60's entered the elevator. Old but looking tight, the guy wanted to finish her too. he took the 3rd tablet & gave a good time to this old lady too.
now that he didn't have any more tablet, he went back to the doctor & asked him for more. the doctor asked him what happened to the 3 tablets he just gave. this told him about the whole thing - fucking a girl, a lady & a oldie. the doctor was dumbstruck for a while. then he gave one more tablet to him. he turned around, lowered his pants and said to him "finish me too & the world will praise you for fucking up my whole family!"
Sex God
The train was travelling along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment which was deserted except for a businessman reading his paper. The man peered over his paper and asked "Would you let me kiss you for fifty pence?"
"Certainly not!" exclaimed the young woman, and the businessman returned to his paper.
A short while later he looked across again and said "Would you let me kiss you for a thousand pounds?"
After a brief pause, the woman replied "yes, I suppose I would." Again the man returned to his newspaper.
A few minutes later the man asked "Would you let me kiss you for five pounds?"
"Certainly not!" replied the young woman, getting angry now "What kind of girl do you take me for?"
"We've already established that" replied the man, "We're just haggling over the price!"
