Post edited 11-04-2007 11:15 Join the most popular community of British swingers now
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qanda
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 79
Straight Female, 74
0 miles · Surrey
Forum
Sex God
Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night. Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun.
So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand".
Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says "Okay".
He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......." "I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun".
Cilla complies with the routine. The results this time are absolutely mind blowing. Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?" Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bitch stole ma wallet
Sex God
What an absolute bastard she really is a shit ! Hopefully from the details they've given Admin she will be able to traced, if her address & credit card are true. Fingers crossed you get your gear back- make sure you prosecute. . Do you want to name & shame her ? Take care love Q & A xxx
Sex God
Ahh what a pity you werent there Cey a good night was had by all probably drank to much & thanks too Andy & sue for organising. We may have been low in numbers but high in quality . Spent Sunday driving up to Blairgowrie & Pitlochry weather absolutely gorgeous. Thanks again guys great to meet you & for those going see you at MK xxx :clap: :clap: :clap: :doggy:
Post edited 02-04-2007 8:36
. Spent Sunday driving up to Blairgowrie & Pitlochry weather absolutely gorgeous. Thanks again guys great to meet you & for those going see you at MK xxx :clap: :clap: :clap: :doggy:
Post edited 02-04-2007 8:36 Sex God
A Scottish old timer is in a bar, talking to a young man.
"Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."
Then, the old man gestures at the bar, "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then, the old man points out the window, "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea... Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, making certain that no one is paying attention., "But ya fuck
Sex God
A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack", she cries.
The blond guy rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling, his 4-year-old comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten pig" says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids
