Because I am down as a single male I think it turns people off, I am married with children but my wife does not want to join in, happy for me to go and explore. Cannot post photos due nature of Job but happy to Cam in a secure enviroment with the right people Hope to here from you sexy people :-?
Post edited 08-09-2006 12:21
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Unknown
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 76
Bisexual Female, 76
0 miles · Kent
Forum
Baby Balloon can't sleep, so he gets in bed with Mummy & Daddy balloon. But, there isn't enough space, so he lets some air out of himself. It's still a bit of a squeeze so he lets some air out of daddy balloon. Still not happy, he lets some air out of his mummy. Ahhhhh, perfect, he drops into a long and peaceful sleep.
In the morning he wakes to find daddy balloon looking angry.
"Son, not only have you let yourself down, but you've let your mother and I down too!"
A bin man is doing his morning rounds loading up the dustbin van when he gets to a house that hasn't put its wheelie bin out. Since he is running a little early, he decides to do a good deed and has a look around to see if they'd left it in the back garden... but he doesn't find them. Being the kind bin man he is, he decides to save the residents a week of having rubbish stinking out their house so he goes up to the door and knocks.
No reply.
He knocks again.
No reply.
He knocks really long and hard... and finally hears footsteps running down the stairs. A little chinese man opens the door wearing only a towel and looking flustered.
Bin man: "Sorry to bother you mate but I'm collecting the rubbish... where's ya bin?"
Chinese man: "I... err... I bin... I been in the bath!"
Bin Man: "No no no - where's ya BIN?"
Chinese man: "I just say! I been in the bath!"
Bin Man: "No mate... listen... Where's... Ya... Wheelie... Bin?"
Chinese Man: "Awaite, awaite, God... I weally been having a w.a.n.k!"
Funny you should say that Ian!
Apparently you're both right, I read once that somewhere in the evolutionary process of the apes, a group of monkeys decided that hunting for fish in the sea was the way forward.
Because these monkeys spent so much time in the water they lost their hair and because their main diet was fish they became abnormally intelligent due to all the omega 3's and whatnot! (remember there was no such thing as flora spreadable back then!)
Abraccodabbra - Humans!
So yes, we are all monkfish! kind of!!
me and donna had a conversation last night concerning peoples beliefs, most think we derive from apes,but some believe we cam from the sea, this beig so we wondered if all members of the glergy came from monkfish,and members of loan companies were sharks,if all single guys were octopuses,if bi`s were mudskippers lol,and anyone getting over 50 was a trout lmao.
Ok everyone, you've all been told poor rubbish jokes, and most of you would probably dismissed them, well not anymore why not post them on here. This is the quickest why to get them out your system, and i bet your asking yourselves now how much is this going to cost me, well i'm going to tell you, its FREE yes you read it right FREE. So come on get them posted, and i bet you will be chuckling to yourselves as you do, and here's some to start you on your way. 
Q: What position do ghosts play in football teams?
A: Ghoulkeepers
Q: Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A: Because they hate ironing.
Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A: To see his flat mate.
Q: What sits in a pram and wobbles?
A: A jellybaby.
Q: What do you have to know before you can start training a pet?
A: More than the pet.
Q: How do you stop your dog barking in the back of your car?
A: Put it in the front.
Q: What is black, floats on water and swears?
A: Crude oil.
Q: What do you call the place where sick fairies go?
A: The elf centre.
Q: Did you hear about the Irish jellyfish?
A: It set.
Q: What position do ghosts play in football teams?
A: Ghoulkeepers
Q: Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A: Because they hate ironing.
Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A: To see his flat mate.
Q: What sits in a pram and wobbles?
A: A jellybaby.
Q: What do you have to know before you can start training a pet?
A: More than the pet.
Q: How do you stop your dog barking in the back of your car?
A: Put it in the front.
Q: What is black, floats on water and swears?
A: Crude oil.
Q: What do you call the place where sick fairies go?
A: The elf centre.
Q: Did you hear about the Irish jellyfish?
A: It set. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table.
The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?"
The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant... He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."
The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"
The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same Efficiency Expert determined that we spend to much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."
"Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"
"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."
I would say that a pleasure worth having is a pleasure worth repeating.
The interesting thing will be whether everyone at the Moon under Water talks in short sentences and holds up emoticon symbols to make a point. Maybe there's a market for lapel badges or t-shirts??
Looking forward to meeting some real people and connecting naked bits to faces.
John
xx
Ye - just a few words of encouragement - it can take a while but single chaps can have some great meets thru this site. Some might be just social - esp as a first meeting - but after some sussing out (both ways) can lead to something more intimate.
I'm new round here and in those few months I've met some lovely people - and am still meeting up with them.
Expect quite a bit of chatting in the forums and maybe quite a time spent on m s n. That way ppl can get an idea of whether you're ok 
or a tosser :wank:
Good luck - keep smiling.
John
or a tosser :wank:
Good luck - keep smiling.
John Hi am new and a bit nervous, I am sure that's only normal human behaviour trying new things. But what I would like some advice on is writing your profile. It is your window on the world, But has to be one of the more daunting challenges one must do.
I have made a start, more like a work in progress. So any suggestion welcome or comments.... I am sure that I am not alone and some good advice would be welcome to all.
We all must have been there at one time or search members function would be empty.
Many Thanks
