excellent advice suddsy!
may we add some tips for newbies?
Although new to this site we've been on the scene for just under 2yrs. The best advice we have is be honest, not only with others but yourselves. Dont tell people you're game for anything if you're not. Rather than putting off others, many like the idea of 'swinging virgins' and are very enthusiastic to take newbies under their experienced wing and show them the ropes (no pun intended) When we were new, nervous, shy & unsure of what we really wanted we found everyone really friendly, polite and eager to make us feel relaxed, after all it does no-one any favours to scare off the new meat!!!
thanks everyone for listening :moon:
i feel i have got to add to this thread.......i am no stranger to chatrooms or forums but i find the chatroom here quite scary.......at times theres far too many ppl present to keep up with.........everybody already seems to know each other, and i find it hard just to jump in and post....strange but i feel im interupting some thing!.....how ever every body seems freindly with only a few idiots popping up now and then
must say thats Sudsy deserves a big round of appaulse for this thread......well written mate :clap: :clap: :clap:
Beowolf
The major difference on this site is that many of the chatroom people are regular and actually do know or have played with each other...Other sites can be quite impersonal and thats why we like this one for our chats.
However, being an open forum if you see a thread you wish to join or contribute on, please do so, nobody will bite you for making the effort.
Take care, have fun
Jel & N
xx
[quote user=jelandn]Beowolf
The major difference on this site is that many of the chatroom people are regular and actually do know or have played with each other...Other sites can be quite impersonal and thats why we like this one for our chats.
However, being an open forum if you see a thread you wish to join or contribute on, please do so, nobody will bite you for making the effort.
Take care, have fun
Jel & N
xx[/quote]
thanks for advice, jel, but thats why im finding it hard to get involved in the chat room.......everybody already seems to know each other...........that and my natural shyness .......just seems hard to interupt or stike up conversations.......
forum side is no prob......im an very old hand at forums......if admin where open to suggestions i could really sex it up (no pun intended) with some ideas......might do it anyway....inject some silly games and stuff
Hi Beowulf,
It IS hard at first mate, I'm afraid - no easy way to get around that one! yes, most other people know each other and just like joining in a group of people you don't know at a party, breaking the ice can be tricky.
Stick with it. Keep plugging away, and gradually (I emphasize "gradually") you'll start to become one of the crowd yourself.
Don't give up!
Suds
hiya i am so nervous of going in there lol i went in the other day and could not say a thing and some people talk to me they said hi and welcome but it with that fast i said hi and left i felt a right prick lolwould love some help from anyone? xx
Rayne,
Next time you're in there, say "Hi" when you join. At least a few people SHOULD respond (if I'm there I'll certainly try). If you see me in there, and if I've missed you joining for any reason (it can happen), message me directly and I'll try to get you into some conversations.
Suds
xx
Good advise for sure, pitty i didn't read it before blundering on and whispering and wanking on cam all in the first day.
However in my defence i came from another site where no body objected to any of that.
I'll be more catious and befriend folks first, thanks for the advice.
Its always difficult as a 'single' male because i think we will always be considered as saddo's, but when you have a partner who would not be interested in sharing.
Thanks for the tips my friend. Was on the chat room this morning and most said hi and bye but as you stated the conversation is fast and furious. Didnt understand the lingo and cant change colour of text or get emotioncons, although I can here Some friendly people on there but as a newbie it is hard to get into meeting and having a conversation. oh yeah did the whisper thing by mistake twice :-o
We all whisper by mistake usually after perving at the reciprients profile & pictures :P. The same with capitals in the excitement hit cap locks just adds to the fun All it is necessary to do is whoops & apologise most uses are quite happy with ttis. It is even more fun the other way when whispering to somebody you suddenly come into open chat we all enjoy thet :clap: :clap: :clap: :lol:
Csar - stick with it matey. You'll soon pick up the lingo (although to be honest, there is no special language - just chat as you would if you were talking to someone in a bar or at a party).
Regarding the emoticons and colours - I'm surprised you can't change those. The colour picker looks like a little black square at the left-hand end of the message window that you type into. Click on that square, and you will see a colour palette appear: select a colour that's not in common use at that time. Chances are you won't find a totally unique one, and avoid the bright yellows, vivid greens and sky blues - they're almost impossible to read in the chatroom!
There is no emoticon selector - you have to type the key shortcuts in yourself. Things like = smiley, lol = happy smiley, :cry = crying smiley, :grin = grinning smiley, :kiss = kissing smileys etc. As Ceylon mentioned in the other forum, the full list of commands is in the "Anything Goes" forum, 4th thread down.
Enjoy :)
Post edited 01-12-2006 9:00
all very well Sudsy darling , but doesn't give any tips on how a single lass can get ...mmmm .......ohhhhhhhhhh ......best not say.
Any TIP / s would be much appreciated .
with the kindest regards ..as ALWAYS .....Tally ..XXXX
thanks sudsy top advice as nebys i get wat your saying i have hit the wissper button a few times and diddent now wat it was all about .as for possting a thread'just starrting to get the jist of things now i like to appolagise to everyone that i have pressed the wissper button thanks again .summerlovers :clap:
Hi Sudsy,
Thx very much 4 takin time 2 write the advice, it defo helps uz out. We.v been on a few weeks now but still tryin 2 work out thingz so ur advice greatly welcomed. Every1 is always welcomin 2 us when we say hello but as u say regulars blether 2 each other and it can go really fast at times. At least we know the big no no,s and r glad with your advise we wont offend any1 on purpose. We may still make a few mistakes but will say
Great advice Sudsy!
It is much appreciated as it has been stated at first it is quite intimidating! Although i was quite lucky that i was frozen with fear when i first entered so didnt make any of the chat room fopa's u mention!
Keep u the good work and also thanks to everyone else who has weighed in with advice!
Hopefully spk to u all in chat sometime now!
Chris
Thanks for the advice everyone.
Some of you may have noticed I have been sitting watching on and off for a while now, occasionally I'll say Hi, but I am rather nervouse after bad experiences in othr chatrooms. So far with tjis room I am liking what I see and will take an active part soon.
I understand the problems for couples and females with the inappropriate comments from single males. I have standards which do not include such behaviour.
Post edited 03-06-2007 23:48
Rabbit am very pleased to hear to hear a great maturity in what you say. Sorry to heaqr you have had a bad experience in another chatroom. If your in and I am too then say hi. A good way to break the ice is to say that you are a newbie and nervous in the chat room. Most regulars will say hi and ask how you are. Good luck though and will chat soon ok . Fruit xx
Hi must thank you for the info being a newbie and going on to the chat rooms have tried to speak to a few people but i always feel out of it like i was not there
so again will try again and keep trying
thanks
bill
[quote user=sudsy]Okay - this struck me as a possible good idea having been in a chatroom session today where there were a number of newbies who appeared either unsure, frustrated (or both) about why they were not getting quick meets or even replies in the chatroom. It was impossible to give out all the advice that I wanted to give because of the speed that the chatroom operates at, so I thought that perhaps a sort of "user guide" might be helpful.
Disclaimers first - this is NOT intended to be a definitive guide to using the chatroom. It is PURELY a personal view, based on my own mistakes and experiences. People will disagree with some of it. Some people may disagree with all of it! However, I simply offer it in the spirit of goodwill in the hope that it will give some pointers to newcomers to the site. As a straight, single male, it is also written from a straight, single male's point of view. I cannot claim to have the insight of what single females or couples (of whatever sexual persuasion) might want, but I believe I've learnt what they tend to NOT want, and I'll cover that as we go.
1. You're New - you want a meet!
===============================
I suspect the majority of people join this site initially with the expectation of uncovering an easy world of free sex. I know I did. This will probably lead to early disappointment, especially if you're a single male (unless you happen to look like Tom Cruise and have a cock like a baby's arm!). The serious and regular members of this site are generally after cultivating a circle of friends first, and then they tend to stick largely with those same people. Some have a larger circle than others, but breaking into established networks takes time, patience and understanding. Don't expect to automatically be welcomed with open arms!
2. The Chatroom is Scary!
========================
The first time I ventured into the chatroom I just couldn't handle it! There were over 100 people all logged in, with probably 30 or so chatting simultaneously: some on different conversations, others all contributing to the same conversation thread. Everyone knew everyone else. Whenever I said anything, it was totally ignored. I hated the place!
After a time, (several months, to be honest!), I tried harder. Now I'm in there most nights, and don't find it intimidating at all. In fact, I feel the chatroom is infinitely better at securing quality meets than the majority of emails. Here's how I'd suggest someone new approaches the chatroom:
a) Watch and Learn
To begin with, don't say anything. Just watch the conversations and try to get a feel for the style of addressing people.
As a regular, you can usually spot the newbie who dives straight in. They say clumsy things, often upsetting regulars unintentionally. Look for the ways that people respond to each other, the abbreviations they use, and especially the "mood" aliases (such as lmao and pmsl - more later) and emoticons (graphical smileys). These are particularly important if there's even the remotest chance that what you write could be mis-interpreted!
b) Pick a Colour
With so many people chatting at once, it helps if you can stand out from the crowd a bit. Pick a colour that's not currently being used from the colour picker at the left-hand end of the message window.
c) Introduce Yourself
When you sign in, say something like "Hi everyone", and acknowledge yourself as a newbie. Everyone was a newbie once upon a time, and most regulars are sympathetic to new joiners. Unless the conversation is fast and furious, you will almost certainly get several "welcome" responses, which should at least break the ice. Ask for advice early on - again, this shows that you are willing to learn the ropes and respect the room protocol. Regulars welcome this, and will almost always help you out.
d) Do you actually have anything to say?
Regulars will accept and respond to all sorts of stuff from other regulars. As a newbie, though, if you've got nothing
much to say people probably won't make the effort. Wait until a conversation topic starts that you can actually contribute to usefully, and if you can do it wittily as well so much the better!
e) Whispers
Beware the whisper! If you click on a username in the lower right-hand list, you will send a personal message (a whisper) to that user only. This is usually considered BAD form! Many people actually stress in their profiles that they will not tolerate being whispered to! Now, from a single male's point of view, this seems very strange. Most of us guys are only too glad to have attractive women or couples whisper us! Unfortunately, couples, and more especially single females, are outnumbered by single males several times over. They get whispers all the time, and it can be a real problem for them when trying to hold public conversations. Besides which, there is often a feeling of suspicion about why someone isn't willing to say what they want in public.
Still, whispers can be valuable. The best way is to ask the person in question if they will accept a whisper from you first. If nothing else, this is polite, but many people will accept request whispers when they wouldn't otherwise accept uninvited ones.
If they don't want to be whispered, they will tell you, and YOU MUST RESPECT THAT. Besides, if you persist in whispering, they will either copy your whisper into the public chatroom and possibly humiliate you, or else report you to a moderator and get you bounced from the chatroom.
Don't worry if you accidentally whisper someone. Everyone does that, even regulars. Just quickly apologise ("sorry - didn't mean to whisper") and return to public chat. No one will mind that.
f) Be Respectful
The basic rule is "Do not genuinely insult people". It goes against all chatroom protocol, and most people will rally round whoever you're targetting and you'll get flamed! Regulars will frequently insult each other, but in a playful way, with plenty of emoticons, winks and other reassurances that it's all a bit of a wind up. Be careful doing this as a newbie - until people get to know your personality a bit better, they won't know how to take you, and may well take genuine offence even if you didn't mean to give it.
g) Persevere, but don't be a nuisance
If you direct a message at someone in particular, you will often get at least an acknowledgment. However, in a busy room, that person may simply miss your message. Alternatively, they may have chosen to ignore it. How do you know?
Clearly, you don't at first. Try repeating the message one more time. If you still get no response, then they're either too busy with other conversations, or they actually don't want to speak to you. They're under no obligation to reply, although most people are polite enough to do so. Whichever - back down gracefully! DON'T keep pestering someone if they appear to be ignoring you: move on - there are plenty of other people to chat with. You may find on another day that that same person is happy to chat, whereas they won't be if you piss them off big time at first!
h) Webcams
Very useful. They let you see who you're chatting to, and vice-versa. This enables you to put some facial expression to your more cheeky comments (always useful!), and is also generally more beneficial than profile photos. You'll also rarely see complaints about single females or couples getting down and dirty on cam! This does happen frequently, with some really very raunchy shows being put on most nights! BEWARE SINGLE MALES, however. Most people are NOT interested in watching single guys wanking away to themselves. Some are, especially if it's a two-way performance, but in general you'll simply be regarded as a bit sad and lonely if you just sit there with the cam on your crotch without making any contribution at all to the conversation.
i) Emoticons, smileys, abbreviations etc.
You'll find that lots of regulars pepper their messages with strange abbreviations, such as lmao, pmsl and others.
These should be used either as simple decorations to emphasize funny comments, or, more importantly, to reassure someone that a possibly insulting-sounding message was actually a bit of a piss-take and was meant light-heartedly.
These are often not obvious, so here's a quick glossary:
lmao = "laugh my arse off"
pmsl = "piss myself laughing"
roflmao = "roll on floor laughing my arse off"
lol = "Laugh out Loud" (This automatically generates a smiley icon)
brb = "Be right back" (This automatically generates a smiley icon)
Emoticons are the graphical smileys, which can be picked from a list, or generated automatically by certain key combinations. There are a lot of these, so here are just a few (try them for yourself!). NB - they are case-sensitive! Put in any capital letters and they won't work.
:cry
:red
:grin
:kiss
:heart
:ring (for when your telephone interrupts you!)
I hope all this was useful! Like I said at the start, it's only my personal view based on my own earlier mistakes! I still make mistakes, and some people will point out that I don't always stick to the above advice myself! Well, I'm only human - what can I say?
Enjoy the chatroom!
Post edited 28-08-2006 21:27
Post edited 28-08-2006 21:30[/quote][color="cyan"][/color][size="18"][/size][b]
hu sudsy babe u are a pure gentlman i think u have been amazing putting all this down for the newbies love u lots eli xxxx excellent suds mmwahhhhh xxxx
Fun Swingers features sexually explicit material. To access this site you must be of the legal age to engage with the material of an adult site.
By entering Fun Swingers you agree to the following;
I am deemed an adult where I live, and I am at least 18 years old
I am allowed to access & view sexually explicit material
0 likes
eye:
.......just seems hard to interupt or stike up conversations.......
forum side is no prob......im an very old hand at forums......if admin where open to suggestions i could really sex it up (no pun intended) with some ideas......might do it anyway....inject some silly games and stuff
All it is necessary to do is whoops & apologise most uses are quite happy with ttis. It is even more fun the other way when whispering to somebody you suddenly come into open chat we all enjoy thet :clap: :clap: :clap: :lol:
Keep u the good work and also thanks to everyone else who has weighed in with advice!
Hopefully spk to u all in chat sometime now!
Chris
