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30 year secret

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For 30 years I have hid a secret from my partner, I am a Bi male that enjoys a nice cock to play with. Over the past several years I had a good friend, I used to go to his house about once a month during the day and have a chat over a cup of coffee, and then to bed. He has moved from the area now and I still keep in touch, but cant have my monthly meetings. I am finding it very difficult to find another man to have the same arrangement with, I suppose that it might be because I am on this site with my partner and listed as a straight male.