Warming the Bed
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1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.  I don't remember what I chose. 

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object.  Every time you ask for sex, she 4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....' 


5. Â There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop'. Unless they are used 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try 8. Virginity can be cured. 


9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of 10. Having sex is like playing bridge.  If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good 11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dialer were too 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the 13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
   A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.  He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the 15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
   A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn' 16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
   A: Breasts don't have eyes. 


17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!! 
 

