OK, it's the old chestnut raising its head again, but as a single male, I have just mamaged to witness unsolicited whispers from another angle, and it's none too nice.
Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting a couple I had been chatting to for a while. It has been the start of a very long term relationship, both socially and swingingly. I went on cam with the female half of the couple. In chat, almost every other chat line coming through was a whisper to her - unwelcome and rudely whispered without permission of course! Some whispers were just innocent hello's - others were just pure filth. Of course, as I was left to do the typing, I copied and pasted the worst of the whispers back in the chat room - it soon stopped them!
My whole point out of this is that I have had first hand experience of seeing just how bad the effect of whispers can be with most people. What I saw in that one night alone makes me realise why single males are stigmatised the way they are - and it makes me more cynical day by day.
As one female in chat recently, quite rightly said - "for f***'s sake, why do men have to whsiper just to say Hello?"
Not sure why I type this here - the guys who read the forum are the decent fellas amongst us, who wouldn't do that. But doesn't this make it easy to see why so many couples and females are anti-single male? Certainly does nothing to improve their perception.
Post edited 06-08-2006 19:46
As a single bi female I am whispered by both couples and single guys. But it is the single guys who frustrate me the most. I recently fell back on the advice given on pasting into the room. I then had another single guy whispering to me telling me what a nasty person I am. I refused to be intimidated and as such pasted this. This continued for a while. Fortunately, my friends in the room supported me, but it does not make a single girl feel particularly comfortable on the site. (And I know, not all single guys are the same, afterall, I have been established by one!)
I think most genuine , couples , single M's , single F's , not sure yets , have the intelligence not to rise ( pardon the pun ) , to unsolicited whispers ..
However , the problem I find ..is that if the room is busy ..the conversation window is fast moving & hard ...( ohhhhhhhh I do like that word ) to follow as it is ..without every other line being a whisper from .." desperate dan i can " ..asking .." what ya wearing ?" ..or " do u cam ? " ..or " I'm only on here to give oral hunny-babe " .. .
It stops the .
with the kindest regards ..as always ..
Tally :rainbow:
P .S ...Be naughty .. :moon:
[quote user=dave40t]Sadly, while there are people out there who will bot take no for an answer, will not accept what is written in plain english on profiles and cannot comprehend some of the more ingenious nicknames in here, then this problem will not go away.
Unless.....
If we all, when solicited in this way, just totally ignore the whisper, and yes I know some can be quite hurtful ladies, but after all, they're only words typed by an ignorant individual, if the perpetrators don't see you getting wound up by it and do not get a response, then they will give up.
Don't copy and paste, that gives them an edge, don't mention it to a soul, and certainly don't reply.
Hope fully this will erradicate the numpties from our friendly site.
L&K
No sorry Dave, I disagree, copy and paste is a good deterrent.
A better deterrent is to report these idiots for abuse. That way, they get banned. I realise that ignoring them seems like a good idea, and that not letting them know they are annoting or upsetting you is a strategy, but the fact is they are BREAKING THEIR TERMS AND CONDITIONS, this means that it should not be you trying to handle the situation, let admin do it.
Dave[/quote]
We totally agree, if we whisper to anybody we always ask first, it seems the decent thing to do, and if we do whisper by accident to someone (which is easly done, if your looking at there profile and dont press chat to all again) then we always say sorry. Like Cat said, it does give the decent single male's on the site that aren't just after a perv a bad name.
J and D xxx
Well said cat mate.
I have had the ' pleasure ' of seeing this behaviour first hand quite a few times when i have been camming with some of the peeps i know.
As always its best just to copy and paste their comments back into the room - i find if you give most of the idiots enough rope they soon hang themselves. These problems and the other old chestnuts of disrespectful people always directing the peeps who are on cam while they are not , and that other favourite of the single guy pretending to be a single fem / couple, are always going to go on but as long as the genuine community stick together then we can only try and minimise it and i can only encourage peeps to say it out loud etc - its not rude but it saves a LOT of time and bullshit.
Even as a single guy i get of lot of idiots, and quelle surprise, once again its usually single guys who whisper me and abuse me or perv on my cam - why they do this when there are so many fems / cpls on cam god only knows. Anyway - they ususally realise too late that i stand my ground and i don't do or stand for bullshit but even tho it can create a bad environment in the room sometimes - better this than to let the idiots lurk unsuspectingly and ruin the fun for the genuine members.
Don't be afraid to speak up is all i can say peeps ........
....... that and have LOTS of fun ok !!! hehehehehehehe :P
Just report them. I agree there is never a mod about when you need one, but I am onsite most evenings and regularly check abuse reports IF you report it chances are they will be booted from the chatroom told to stop in no uncertain terms within minutes of it happening.
Its nice to see that a few get our perspective. I have been told i am a snob and a tart (not sayin latter isnt true with the right company ) however i thank god i am a strong woman who will say well wnen you pay my membership fee feel free to direct my cam n whisper me all you like :moon: If it carries on i tell then i will copy n paste every subsequent whisper into the room & also to admin as abuse report..... seems to do the trick for me.
I tried the ignoring but dales right if they dont know there annoying you they wont stop...... lets just keep together n stamp em out (ohh i am gettin masterful !)
stay safe
kathy xxxx
:rainbow: :doggy: :clap:
If you are being pestered by whisper and you copy and paste it back into the room, I will kick the perpetrator if I am in the room. I have always said that if you want to whisper you must ask first. Of course there are those that don't mind unsolicited whispers but those that do are put off coming into the chatroom because of them. I know this from first hand experience. So, don't be afraid to report uninvited whispers if it bugs you.
Well Said Cat :clap: :clap: :clap:.
And to the rest of you for your comments,I havent experienced this yet but if it was allowed to carry on no doubt most of us would.
Mal
If you are having a problem with whispers, click on the name of the whisperer, this is on the right on the chatroom users list. Highlight the name, as if you were about to whisper, but click the "view profile" option on the extreme right (on some browsers this might be obscured, but you can just about see the edge). This will take you to a new window with the abusers profile, click "report abuse" option on this profile and explain what has been happening.
I can't wait ..a , " stop this profile whisper " , button .
..can whisper me buddies , whilst talking in chat ..& not have inept tosser convo's , disrupting the continuity , .. = perfect ..everybody happy ..??? ..
..
mmmmmmm couldn't possibly please all the people all the time ..that would be deemed rude ..
Personally I think the mods do a stand-up job and I'd like to thank them for doing their bestest to keep the chatroom a pleasant environment.
Particularly poor cops, who looks as if they're a bit beleaguered here!
I hate how these whispery pushy type fellas can affect general perception of single m's. I recently said "Hi" and "Oh, you live quite close to me" in open chat (not whisper) to one particular single fem and got a rant back about "Read the profile" "If I want single guys I'll contact them" etc etc, ending with dismissing me as a "boy trying his luck". I'd said nothing past hi and you're only 30 odd miles away.
Now, I've never whispered anybody I don't already know well and I've never begged a meet off anyone or even suggested a meet with anyone who doesn't have single male in the looking for section of their profile - thats just basic respect.
I felt like I was being made the scapegoat of all the other single guys who had (probably) been whispering her, because I'd dared to speak in open chat.
Like I say, the knobs can really ruin everyones fun.
Jaybone - as a regular in the chat room you and I have spoken a lot and you are nothing but respectful, polite, funny and chatty. This single female you are talking about may have had lots of whispers that day (or any other day cos the single fems do get lots of whispers) but that is no excuse to single you out and ridicule you in the open chat room. As you know we have spoken about this privately and my advice to you Jay is to take it on the chin for now, remember who she is (I will) and the jungle drums will work their magic and you'll be sure to get a meet because you're a gent - and don't forget I'm top of the list xxxxx
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) however i thank god i am a strong woman who will say well wnen you pay my membership fee feel free to direct my cam n whisper me all you like :moon: If it carries on i tell then i will copy n paste every subsequent whisper into the room & also to admin as abuse report..... seems to do the trick for me.
I tried the ignoring but dales right if they dont know there annoying you they wont stop...... lets just keep together n stamp em out (ohh i am gettin masterful !)
stay safe
kathy xxxx
:rainbow: :doggy: :clap:
