Peter gets home late one night and his wife, Jacke, says, "Where the hell Have you been?"
Peter replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get"
"I got a £50 note tattooed on my penis," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head. "Why on earth would an accountant get a £50 note tattooed on his penis?"
Well, one; I like to watch my money grow.
Two; once in a while I like to play with my money. Three; I like how money feels in my hand. And lastly; instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow £50 anytime you want."
Peter is now recovering in an undisclosed ward at the Royal Free Hospital.