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Unknown
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 76
Bisexual Female, 76
0 miles · Kent
Forum
[quote user=ur4it][quote user=rabbit054]I have removed any clear faced pics and put a more obscure pic in its place.[/quote]
I recommend that you put your face picture in your private gallery as this is not accessible by a search engine. You can then control who has access to it by only sending those you know an invite to view your gallery. You can do this by clicking "add to private gallery" and "remove from public gallery" in "Your photos" 
Post edited 09-06-2007 10:56[/quote]
Now in private gallery. I hope it stays that way
Post edited 09-06-2007 10:56[/quote]
Now in private gallery. I hope it stays that way You may have heard them before, but brought a smile to my face. I hope they do yours.
THE GYNECOLOGIST
================
A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.
After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he asked her, "Do you know what I am doing?" "Yes," she replied, "You are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That's right," said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her Breasts. "Do you know what I am doing now?" he asked. "Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his Patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I am doing now?" "Yes," she said, "You're getting herpes: which is why I came here in the first place!"
JUST NOT WORTH IT
=================
A man enters his favourite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting all alone at a nearby table. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that, if she accepts it, she is his.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly brings it over to the woman, saying this is from the gentleman over there. She looks at the wine and sends a note over to the man.
Her note reads: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a BMW in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants!"
The man, after reading her note, chuckles, and sends a note of his own back to her.
His note reads: "Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850, and a Volvo in my garage. I have over twenty-five million dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. JUST SEND THE BOTTLE BACK!"
OUCH
====
A poacher was in the woods, busy cleaning out some rabbits he had snared when he heard a rustle in the bushes. Fearing the arrival of the gamekeeper, he froze into stillness and peered through the bushes to see who was there. Relieved to see it wasn't the gamekeeper, but was instead the local vicar relieving himself in the woods, the poacher decided to take revenge for all the sermons that had been delivered so pointedly aimed at him in the past. Taking some rabbit entrails, he carefully and quietly poked them underneath the squatting vicar, and then stole away to await the vicar's appearance back on the road.
The vicar emerged from the wood, looking as white as a sheet.
"Good morning, Vicar" said the poacher, "how are you this fine day?"
"Terrible" replied the vicar, " I was taken short and had to enter the woods to relieve myself and whilst doing my business, I lost all of my insides - but by the Grace of God, and with a little stick, I managed to get them back in again"
LAST WORDS
==========
The man was distraught, his wife laying on their bed and close to death.
"Look under the bed " she whispered to him, "take out what you find there".
Her husband reached under the bed and drew out a large locked trunk.
Handing him a key from under her pillow, his wife told him to open it.
On opening the trunk, the man found £7000 and three hens eggs.
On seeing his quizzical expression, his wife confessed to him that she had placed an egg inside the trunk every time she had been unfaithful to him.
Hurt at first, the husband then considered that three eggs in 30 years of marriage wasn't as bad as he had first thought, so he then asked about the £7000.
"Ah" said his wife, "every time I got a dozen eggs I sold them to the village shop for 50p"
[quote user=tribblemaster]What happened with site last night going down again, why do we have this problem we come here to make friends and have laugh and chat then bang site goes off, we pay to enjoy not to be unable to get in site.
Does anyone else feel the same.
Admin why the problem ??[/quote]
Found the same problem. Couldn't get in at 10pm and still the same problem at this morning. :mad:
[quote user=radiohead]Glad to hear your sticking around Puss
you've been a member far too long to let immature dickheads get to you, you should only give them a moment of sympathy for the sad lives they must lead, then not another thought.
Your right things have changed around here but the good still well out number the bad eh X
Sal :rainbow:[/quote]
I agree 100%
I know I am very quiet on the site, and the majority on the site don't know me, but I have been here for over a year now and watched some of these dickheads strut their stuff. They are not funny, not clever and must have very sad lives.
It makes me mad as hell to think that nice people like you are upset by their antics.
When we used to swing as a couple, we had some rocky moments caused by small minded people, it takes time to get over it but you do I promise.
Just remember you are who you are, and you should be proud of that.
Also the good people on this site will always outnumber these fools.
[quote user=admin][quote user=j_and_k]
Admin - is there anything you can do to block our profiles appearing on google?
Jx[/quote]
Every site on the internet which requires a member to fill out a profile will allow search engines to crawl the information. As you have noticed by entering your commonly used username into a search engine such as google, you find all of the sites that you are registered to.
I would advise that if you do not want certain pictures to be shown, that you should add these to your private gallery or obscure your face.[/quote]
I have removed any clear faced pics and put a more obscure pic in its place.
I'm more than happy to provide clear faced pics in response to a mailed request.
Bit of a pain I know at times, but better than having your pic used in a porn mag or any other publication.
mate.....its le clair (male bit) i sympathise and know what you m ean - i hate the bloody things and whince every time too - seems to me that the different sizes and the tight buggers just dont fit me - i go for the elephant jumbo (sometimes called trojan) as they are easier to get on and giv you a bit of breathing space lol - i guess the manufacturers are just looking for joe average with dick average lol - if you are either side of that then you will be in trouble i guess lol
:lick:
Sorry guys, couldn't resist.
Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept the same tag-line...
Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it.
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
Minstrels Condoms -melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.
Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough.
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required.
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.
Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms - size really does matter!
Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes
Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please)
Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal
Polo condoms - the condom with the hole!!!
We find what generally works is:
Boil the condom in water for about 30 seconds, gently stretch it until you can fit both hands inside it (palms together).
Carry on stretching the prophylactic by gently moving your hands apart until the opening fits neatly over your head. Pull it down over your face so the base is just below your nose.
Now breath in through your mouth and out through your nose until the condom is sufficiently inflated enough to have a jolly good game of astronaughts!! :moon:
Apart from that we're as lost as you guys!!
Post edited 07-06-2007 22:29
There isn't much better in this life than finding a way to spend a few hours in conversation with people you respect and love. You have to carve this time out of your life because you aren't really living without it.
in the mean time Sue dont let the bastards grind you down hun.......
respectdue xxxx
please please please can i come? x x x sparxy x xSue & Andy
We are so glad that you guys have decided to stay, we've spoken on here since we started and you guys has always welcomed us with open arms. We had the pleasure finally meeting at the MK meet and what a lovely couple you guys are. Don't worry what people think or say, you know who your true friends are on here and they will stick by you guys.
WELCOME BACK XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
:clap:just wanna say thank you sooo much to Ceylon for organising this fantastic night was really good to meet new peeps and make good friends, sue your lovely and i luv ya you looked after me all night, Dad it was good to see you again you raised a good son, and naomi lovely coupele, Girl4 stunning as always grrrrr, meli such an amazing couple and beautiful, ebs were was my story? kel Mwah x, mich and clif great to meet you, cheif my twin, peter just bring it dude lol, Gypsy women mmmmm so beautiful sexy and gorjussssss and amazing kisser. any peeps i miss i luv ya 2, x x xthanks again
Sparxy x x
