Swinging is a recreational activity for adults. The most common method is an adult male & female couple, meeting other couples for sex, and sometimes ongoing intimate relationships. The activity may occur at a swing event, a couple-to-couple encounter, a liaison, or with a 3rd person in a threesome.
"Swinging is an engagement in sexual activity with someone other than one's spouse/primary partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that person."
Also known as "the lifestyle" or "the scene", swinging can take on a wide variety of different forms. Swinging clubs can be either "on-premises" or "off-premises". On-Premises, as the name may suggest, you can interact sexually with others at the event, the latter, off-premises, is when you arrange at the event to go back to the house or hotel room with other people.
Single women and single bi-sexual women are generally welcome at most clubs, single men and bi-sexual single men are to a lesser extent.
Swinging has always been around, since the beginning of recorded time. Obviously it has different social standings throughout its time. In the 60's and 70's swinging was very much the in thing, and was very popular. There are a few rules for which to follow, they are not set in stone, but are more then general understanding of people in the lifestyle, more of a swinging etiquette. Check the etiquette section for a pretty much full guide on these etiquettes.
The simple and most common answer is no, it can't. However, if your relationship is already on thin ice, then it can be, to use a cliche, the straw that broke the camels back. Swinging will not fix a failing relationship; it is more for couples in strong relationships that want to experiment.
Although the majority of swinging will end up involving sex, it isn't all about the sex. Swinging is about building up an atmosphere of warmth and belonging. Whether you're at an event, with another couple, or with another person for a threesome, you will be eating, drinking and chatting. Getting acquainted with someone is almost essential before engaging in sexual activities.
Arrive and leave as a couple
Always arrive as a couple, and leave, it wont be viewed favourably if one partner leaves early and the other stays, the majority of time, if one goes, both go.
Its not fashionable to turn up late to parties, as the night will have already got underway, and you may make people who have already began feel awkward walking in late, it will also be harder for you to fit in. If you are going to be late, maybe due to traffic, give the host a ring and check with them, they may update you on how the night is going so you can walk straight into it.
The swinging lifestyle is full of insecurities and uncertainties. Being courteous can help ease this. Treat people in the way you want to be treated; sensitively, thoughtfully, understandingly.
Be friendly with every one, even if you don't want to take it further with them, you may find you have other things in common, or they may introduce you to people who you are interested in.
Respond to all invitations, even if you don't plan to attend. It is very annoying when you're the host, if you don't know how many people are going to turn up. Reply by either by a phone call or a letter, thanking them for an invite.
Phone the host and ask them if there's any thing you can bring, always arrive with something for the hosts.
Neat casual clothing and good grooming
Always take a robe or negligee with you, you will find it more comfortable as the evening progresses. Keep money, jewellery and other such valuables at a minimum, it's an embarrassment to you and your hosts if you lose them
The main thing that will turn your potential partners off will be bad breath or body odour. Have a shower before you leave for your event, and it's a good idea to freshen up when you get there.
The whole idea is that you enjoy your self, that's why you are in the lifestyle. Don't be pressured into doing any thing you don't want to, with any one you don't want to, always say no if you don't want to.
The most basic and important swinging etiquette is the right to say no. A simple and polite "No, thank you" is all that is needed. You don't need to explain, as this may cause problems and hurt. Don't be afraid to say no, every one has the right, and if you do end up doing things you don't want to it will cause more ill-felling and embarrassment.
If you fancy swinging with someone let them know in a nice, inviting way, if they say no, it is up to them. Don't ask them why, as this could be embarrassing and hurtful. If they say no, don't carry on and try to sweet talk them and flirt with them, as this can do a lot more harm than good.
Most people like a few drinks at an event, drinking socially is fine, it can provide a good social platform to get to know people, it can also help you relax. Overindulging is not a good thing though, as it can hinder for physical and mental performance, and is a turn off for many people. If you need to drink heavily to participate in the event this isn't the lifestyle for you.
It is up to you to protect your self and your partner. The use of condoms should not offend any one, it is not saying your dirty, it is simple a means to protect all parties involved. Anyone not willing to use a condom is selfish and irresponsible. How ever, saying that, if all participating people are happy not to, it will be down to your discretion.
This is an obvious one, never take any one to an event who doesn't know what there going to, it is very embarrassment for every one, and probably will cause problems.
A ticket is someone who goes with you to the event just to get you in, but has no intention swinging, of course no one HAS to swing, but if one person swings, it is normally expected that the other one is willing to swing.
As the name suggests, the group room is for group swinging, if you want privacy don't go to the group room, if you take your partner with you into the swinging room you can expect others to ask to join you, obviously you still have the right to refuse.
If you're in a bedroom or the group room, don't disturb the swinging of others with prolonged talk. This can be very mood-destroying and very annoying!
BYO, also known as BYOB (bring your own booze), only drink what you bring, unless you have the permission from others.
Don't walk into bedrooms, peel back curtains, turning on lights etc. Accidents do happen, and this isn't a problem, but if you become known for such behaviour then you will find that you won't receive many invites in the future.
Probably the most important one, approach every thing with an open mind and positive attitude, act out your fantasies, and enjoy your self.
If someone is causing a problem, if they're not taking no for an answer or they're being abusive, tell the hosts, they will be more than willing to help.
Always call or write to say thanks, for one thing it will get you invited again, and it will let the hosts know that they provided a good event.
Stay together as much as you feel you need to, but don't hold onto one another like your life depended on it, or seem clingy, as this will make it more difficult for other couples to approach you.
As time goes on at the event there may be general "disrobing". Only go as far as you want to and feel comfortable with. You will be accepted if you chose to remain fully clothed, although it is recommended that you try to include your self as much as possible, changing into something more revealing will help others include you and make you feel more involved.
Be honest with each other about your emotions. If you feel jealous of your partner, or have any other uncomfortable feelings then tell your partner, if you don't, they will only come out later and be much more awkward and damaging.
Don't worry about asking your hosts or other guests questions, swingers are generally interested in meeting new people, and will help explain the lifestyle as much as possible.
If there is a hot tub or spa for instance, try to use it, being nude, close to other people with a valid reason will help you make new friends.
Try as hard as you can to leave your inhibitions at home, both sexual and social. These can interfere with your swinging pleasure, you cant expect to get much out of a swingers event if your not prepared to put much in.
Don't pretend to be someone else, be friendly and good natured. A warm smile has a positive effect on every body.
As you can probably guess there are many sexual activities involved with swinging, some will be common at most parties, but others will normally only be at a specially organised event to cater for that particular fetish.
Bisexuality people of the same gender interacting. This is much more common between women than men, but it does not mean every woman will indulge in it. Bisexuality between men is extremely rare in the swinging community, and is usually frowned upon if not organised prior, and is usually preferred in a separate area.
This is, by far the most popular, and really is the heart and soul of the swinging life style. One couple pairing up with another, after an exchange of partners, the couples usually continue sexual activity within close proximity to each other, i.e. within the same room or the same bed, probably interacting in such as way that it becomes a foursome, or group sex.
These include things such as spanking, bondage, sado/masochism and water sports(urination). The majority of these are very uncommon at most swingers parties unless the hosts have chosen a theme for the night, in which case you will be notified well before the night of the event.
Usually defined by a group of 4 or more people interacting sexually, most commonly, as described above; two couples, although it can be any sex of four or more people.
Threesomes are most common for couples just starting out; it is the most common method of starting in the lifestyle. A lot of couples will carry on with threesomes long after they have fully integrated in to the lifestyle. In threesomes, all three people may interact, or two people will interact with the other.
This is when you watch others perform sexual activities. This is normally welcome within the group area, but not in the private areas. Remember it is always polite to ask if people mind being watched.
Swinging can be erotic, exciting and fulfilling as you want it to be. It allows you to explore your favourite fantasies safely. You and your partner can engage in private, intimate sexual activity, share someone in a threesome, enjoy with another couple, or engage in group swinging, all in the space of an evening. You can make new friends, and meet interesting people. It can also enhance your personal life and relationship, it can give you a positive feeling about your self and your partner.
Swinging can be every bit as erotic, exciting and fulfilling as you both imagine it to be. You can explore many of your favourite fantasies safely. You and your partner can engage in private, intimate sexual activity, share your mate in a threesome, enjoy another couple, or engage in group swinging - all in one evening. You can both make new friends and meet interesting people. Swinging also has the potential of greatly enhancing your relationship and personal life. A positive feeling about yourself, your mate, and your relationship is important. Swinging is not for everyone however. People need to discuss between themselves factors including jealousy, self-esteem, or any relationship problems, prior to entering into the swinging lifestyle. If any of these things are of major concern to either person, then chances are you are not ready to enjoy the swinging lifestyle and all of its benefits. Always remember, swinging is to enhance your relationship, not to repair or rebuild it.